


To Speak of Those Without

by karkatfreckles



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Gem War AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:37:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5206145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karkatfreckles/pseuds/karkatfreckles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Quartz has declared war on Homeworld, demanding the liberation of Earth. Desperate to rid the colony planet from Gem control and prevent further destruction by the continued use of Kindergartens, the rebel Gem enlists anyone who is willing to fight in her cause. The Diamond Authority appoints Yellow Diamond and her forces to strangle back control of the colony planet.<br/>Amethyst is one of countless Gem warriors bred from the Kindergartens and falls beneath Yellow Diamond's command. During a skirmish between forces, she finds herself with an opportunity to shatter the leader of the resistance, Rose Quartz. Just before her whip can wrap itself around the enemy Gem's neck, her attack is intercepted. It's at this moment she finds herself locked in combat with a Pearl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Before we get started, I want to thank the person whom created this AU in the first place, [loycos](loycos.tumblr.com). The original AU belongs to them and thank you so much for letting me coin a fic about it.  
> This first chapter is a prologue to the fic, based off of the comic Loycos made about it. This comic can be found [here](http://loycos.tumblr.com/post/129673922469/amethyst-transfering-your-gf-unhealthy).

“Answer the question,” her voice flowed like silence and lilies on a stolid pond. Viciously smooth and fatally placid.  Beneath her words was poorly contained venom. She was giving her a chance, giving her an opportunity to understand. It wasn’t complicated. She just wanted an answer. No more of this fleeting, dodging ballet. No more delicacy. She couldn’t let her shy from this anymore.

“Amethyst…” She sounded tired. As if speaking her name, the name she’d heard her moan and cry for her, were a great weight on her body. The voice she’d felt say her name a million times on her lips and infinitely more she had tasted on her tongue and in gasps and shudders. It lacked the love and adoration with which she had heard in it recently. She was glad she didn’t hear it, those musical tones of adulation and affection. It would have made everything so much harder. It would have filled her eyes with glass until they shattered beneath the pressure behind them.

“Would. You.”

Hesitation. “I…” There was a pause. Just enough length for her trepidation and grief to flourish and bloom into a cataclysm of ferocity and anger. It was easier to be enraged than it was to be anguished. “It’s not the same thing.” She’d closed her eyes, hidden them behind eyelids the color of smoke in rain.

She spit fire at her, “Exactly.”

She shook her head this time, as if that could make her answer any less devastating. As if it could take away the sense that something more than yourself was being shattered. “It’s _not_ the same thing,” She looked so tired and weak. She’d thought she could look many things—delicate, maybe—but never weak.

“Shit, Pearl.” She had to look away from her. It was easier to look at the broken gems, the fragments of allies and enemies scattered together. Death wouldn’t care who was on what side. Everyone was equal on this hellscape. “Then why are we even doin’ this? Doncha know what they’ll do to us if we get caught?!” She gestured to the broken fragments of everyone she might have known and maybe those she would end up among. “They’d shatter us on the spot. All this risk…”

She had the audacity to interject, to fill the cracks in her anger with her voice like a salve she’d never wanted. It hurt more than it healed; it had the gall to try and soothe her. “Amethyst, that is not—“

She couldn’t let her finish, “And you can’t even answer my question.” Again her eyes were on the fragments on the ground. She recognized one of the shattered pieces. It had been another soldier, Citrine. One of a billion Quartz gems birthed from the Kindergarten that had bred this war. “You do it for _her_ ,” Her words are red hot irons on thin, pale flesh. The kind that doesn’t frame bones and sinew, it hangs from it. When she looks up, she reaps the damage she had hoped to grow. Delicate, fragile, _tired_ cyan is on her and it stokes the flames of her seething rage. “I see you during battles. Flingin’ yourself between her and whatever tries to harm her. Like nothin’.” She sees her in a flash behind her eyelids, standing between her shield and another gem’s spear, knowing that it would have to destroy her before it harmed anyone else. “Without thinkin’ about yourself. Without thinkin’ about me.” She sees her broken body recede and regenerate in a stubborn, caustic flash of light. “You come back every time… and you do it again.” The sky is dark and her words are full of acid and radiation and pure, unadulterated toxicity. “Does she kiss you? Does she lie on your behalf? Does she love you back? ‘Cause hell, I do. Yet you jump in front of every sword for _her_.  And you can’t even **_answer_** my question!” She can feel the glass of her eyes splitting and cracking at the edges where the pressure and pain can leak through, gathering just too little for droplets to grow heavy and run down her face. And she is breaking too. In spite of her tears, she can’t stop. There’s too much anger, too much pain, too much agony and breathlessness and kisses and moaned “I love you”s to make any of this okay. “ ** _Would you do it for me?_** ”

And it’s Pearl’s tormented face imposed into her brain as she is thrown from a memory to a dream to a present worse than anything she would ever have imagined. The battlefield is torn to pieces and the ground is a field of glass as you walk and fight and murder and destroy lives to pave the ground again with bright splashes of blood. Fire has replaced the grass and flowers and strawberries that had tried to grow in its own world.  She’s beaten and bloody, knocked onto the sharp ground on her face and she’s so tired and it’s so hard to keep fighting. She’s been fighting for so long and she feels it will never end until all of them are dead. She tries to push herself up, to fight for a cause she wasn’t sure she ever believed in. Over her stands a hulking gem, a massive quartz with a sword prepared to cut off her head and force her to retreat to her gem which would be so vulnerable beneath a discerning heel.

And then she is in shadow and it is slight and it is long and doing in defiance what nothing like it had ever done. A pearl, _her_ Pearl though she was not truly her Pearl and she never would be. “Pearl!” She cried, remembering her visceral, unforgiving words. “Pearl, don’t! Pearl! Get out!” She remembers how she had condemned her. How she had been certain she would never match up to the gem who owned her. “That—That’s not—“ You can’t finish or say anything more before she’s stabbed with the gem’s sword. It slips cleanly through her torso and out again, coated in a delicate web of teal blood that gleams against the blade in powerful contrast to the inferno on the steel.  She can only watch in horror as she received the answer that Pearl could never say to her. She might very well be shattered and become a martyr for the pearls on Homeworld as the servant who dreamed of anything greater.

There would be no winning this war, no matter which side you were on. If you were rebels, the odds were against you and there would be little chance of surviving. You were an underdog with nothing but the strength of misplaced passions to assure you anything. You were a cause lured into defiance by honey-tongued words laced with the promise of something more. If you were a loyal servant of Homeworld, you were a number in an unending calculation. You had no identity except in what you were. You would be an expendable nonentity; being shattered for the good of your planet and your race became your identity. In the end, an uncountable number of gems would be shattered for a cause that you either were forced to believe in or you were liberated enough to choose it for yourself.

To have ever believed there would be anything more for her than to be shattered on this battlefield felt beyond foolish. Now instead of only failing to protect herself, she would either live to see her shattered, or die to assure that she wasn’t.


	2. Slag Heaps and Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again to [loycos](loycos.tumblr.com) for working with me on this fic! They've been an awesome beta reader and it's been such a great experience. Credit for this AU and the inspiration for this fic goes to them!

Every moment filled her like molten lead, pouring into her mind images and knowledge about things she had never seen—very well never would see. The moment she emerged from the Earth, she knew countless things. She knew she was a Gem, she knew she had been incubated from a planet filled with tremendous amounts silicate perovskite, she knew that she was a quartz and that her purpose throughout the length of her potentially infinite lifespan would be to fight. Fight for Homeworld, fight for herself, and fight for whomever she was told. Her assigned lifestyle would be as one of a countless number to serve and die for the good of her home planet. That is to say, a home planet that she was almost guaranteed to never see. She was pulled from the earth naked, covered in dirt and stone.

 She was surrounded by various olivine Gems, all of them divided up into pairs. One would do a physical evaluation of a newly-emerged quartz as the other recorded what their partner told them. Before her was a chrysolite, her gem formed in a small sphere that sat in the hollow between her collarbones; the other, the one whom would be doing the physical examination, was a peridot.

 “Earth Colony. Kindergarten Facet 9.” She recited this first part as she simply circled the newborn quartz Gem, as if repeating this for the millionth time that cycle. Sunlight reflected off the peridot’s marquise-shaped Gem, settled just below her sternum. One of the infinite number of things she was formed knowing was that olivine Gems were the technicians and operators of places such as Kindergartens. She also knew that she outranked them and once they had recorded their information, they held no power over her. “Quartz Gem: Amethyst. Gem Placement: Chest. Additional Notation: This Amethyst is about,” She paused as two of her robotic fingers floated over to her and acted as a tape measure, “1.2192 meters shorter than other Gems harvested from this Kindergarten. Most likely incubated too long. Will be sent to Processing for further evaluation.”

Finished, the peridot seemed to look at her as more than a subject for the first time, as if acknowledging her as an individual with sentience. She casually gave her further direction, “You will have to go to—“

“Let me guess: Processing. For further evaluation,” She spoke through gritted teeth. The first emotions Amethyst felt were anger and shame. She was marked defective by her very existence and if she was lucky, she would be shattered to avoid humiliating herself.

Both of the olivine Gems sniffed, displeased with her response. “That is correct. Take the shuttle to Processing. Upon arrival a steward will tell you where to go.” The peridot waved her towards a large, hovering vehicle that was being loaded up with dozens of other quartz Gems, naked but for the dirt they were all coated in. Every single quartz she observed stood twice her height and she was reminded of the fact that she had been born just so she could be shattered. She was defective and it was not difficult to see why.

Amethyst was loaded into the shuttle with her larger counterparts, most of them different types of quartz. There were seven other amethysts on the shuttle as well as an aventurine, an onyx, a carnelian, two blue quartzes, four faden quartzes, and three prasiolites. All of them towered over her and she found herself an empty space on the shuttle where she would be less likely to be noticed. The other quartz Gems didn’t say anything though she could feel their eyes stinging her back like hot needles.

It took nearly an hour for the shuttle to cart them from the Kindergarten to Processing. It was a single, massive ship used by twelve different Kindergartens—she had been born knowing. This was where Gems born from a specified region on a colony planet would be given a faction depending on the roles they could fill depending on their abilities and qualifications. This was also where defective Gems would undergo Appraisal to decide if they would be shattered. As they filed out of the shuttle, Amethyst was last to depart. There was a group of four olivine Gems. Upon seeing her the one nearest her seemed to check something off a list as another approached her.

“Come with me and I will take you to Appraisal,” it was a command. A defective Gem was above no one, not even a technician like a peridot. Amethyst followed the steward into the ship and down an empty corridor, occasionally crossing paths with a peridot or chrysolite. All of them were armed with an electronic tablet and nearly all of them carried a small box marked “REDACTED.” These boxes, Amethyst was born knowing, contained the shards of defective Gems that were too deformed to be Salvaged. There was likely a box already prepared for her.

The peridot left her in a room with no handle on the inside, empty and metallic. The only feature of the room was a large examination table that sprouted from the center of the floor and a small table pushed up against the wall. She wasn’t left waiting for more than a moment before three Gems entered the room unannounced. A peridot, a chrysolite, and a pearl.

Another thing she was born knowing was Homeworld’s hierarchy. She knew that, as a quartz Gem, she was a warrior; she knew that olivine Gems were technicians that operated the Kindergartens and Processing; and she knew a pearl was a servant, something less than sentient. They were mass produced Gems that weren’t fostered out of the grounds of Kindergartens, rather they were grown and assembled. The most perfect pearl had less social status than a defective amethyst.

The chrysolite spoke first, reading words off of the tablet, “Defective amethyst, Facet-8C0G Cut-7LU. Grown from Kindergarten Facet 9.” The peridot nodded without so much as looking at the chrysolite behind her. The first step was to more comprehensively record everything there was to be known about Amethyst. They measured her height, her weight, skin color, hair color, eye color, and even the color of her gums. They tested the hardness of her gem with calculated ferocity, listening for some specific cue that would define its density. They tested the reflexes of her limbs with a small, triangular mallet. They even drew several vials of blood and the chrysolite used the pearl to help run an exhaustive series of lightning quick tests to determine different things that Amethyst had not been born knowing.

While the chrysolite and pearl worked, the peridot tested her awareness and basic knowledge. She was told to answer simple questions, such as her Gem number and Kindergarten of origin. She was told to answer the different branches of the Diamond Authority and her role as a quartz Gem. She was asked to summon her weapon and that was also exhaustively measured and recorded. By the time she had answered all these questions, the tests had been completed and the three Gems left the room for several minutes. All of her information was being transmitted to Homeworld for consideration of representatives of the Diamond Authority’s four factions. If none of the factions decided she was worth Salvaging, she would be shattered.

She was left to wait for what felt like days as her information was considered by the different factions. The room had no windows, only a bright artificial light shining from the center of the ceiling. She had no way to measure the passage of time and so she waited for what could have been a moment or years.

The same peridot returned, this time without the chrysolite and pearl. She maintained her neutral expression as she broke the news to Amethyst.

“After careful consideration by the four branches of the Diamond Authority, Yellow Diamond has decided to Salvage you as a foot soldier.” The peridot’s words prompted a relief that Amethyst loathed. She was relieved that she wouldn’t be shattered, that she would get to live. She was born knowing that it would have been better if she had been shattered.

It was through Yellow Diamond’s charity that Amethyst was allowed to live. Originally she was assigned as one of many Gems that guarded Kindergarten P-24377 and she filled that role for a thousand years without incident. It was most merciful to have her stationed on a colony planet than to bring her back to Homeworld where she would be subjected to endless scrutiny. During her time working as a guard at P-24377, she was promoted in spite of her Salvaged status. She proved herself a warrior with admirable skill and tenacity and was rewarded for her loyalty and hard work. She was placed in charge of the squadron that guarded Kindergarten P-24377. In spite of this, she always received the poorly hidden condescension of the other Gems. No matter how powerful she was, she was a Salvaged Gem. She was allowed to live only by the mercy of a member of the Diamond Authority.

Amethyst didn’t know that a war was mounting until she was drafted. Her role was changed from guarding a Kindergarten to foot soldier. She and thousands of other quartz Gems were pitted against the ragtag army of the rebels whom called themselves Crystal Gems. Anyone who wanted to fight were united underneath Rose Quartz’s banner where they openly opposed Homeworld for the liberation of Earth. Every day Amethyst would see hundreds of her comrades shattered and she would always wonder how she had managed to survive for so long against all odds.

Amethyst was selected for a small platoon under the control of a chrysoprase whose job it was to single out and shatter Rose Quartz. The consensus was that if the leader of the rebels was destroyed then the Gems enlisted under her command would fall apart without her. If they could remove Rose Quartz from the equation, this war would be over.

The strategy was simple. Yellow Diamond’s forces would feint a retreat to lure the opposition into overconfidence. During this moment, Chrysoprase’s unit would flank the rebel army and drive a wedge in them to separate out Rose Quartz. Yellow Diamond didn’t care if they survived the ambush or not and the lot of them were expected to give their lives if it meant the difference between victory and defeat. Of all the Gems expected to die for this cause, Amethyst was at the top of this list. She was considered the most expendable and the other Gems knew it. Amethyst went into battle filled with rage and self-loathing.

They crept along the edge of the battlefield, incapacitating foes before they could be detected. As Homeworld’s forces fell back and the Crystal Gems advanced, Rose Quartz came into view. Like a spearhead, Amethyst and her teammates moved forward and divided Rose Quartz from her allies. It had worked for the most part. Along with a tourmaline and a fluorite, two of Rose Quartz’s closest allies, a ruby and a sapphire, were with her and would make it more difficult to secure the defeat of the leader of the Crystal Gems.

Amethyst was thrown into a brief struggle with the tourmaline whom charged at her with a pair of sickles. She threw back her whip and secured a boulder, launching it at her opponent, hoping to buy enough of a reprieve to search for an opening. It only bought her seconds as the lithe gem leaped high over the boulder, charging towards her with wild eyes, the sort that knew they had nothing to lose. She was put on the defensive as the tourmaline slashed at her with deadly grace. Tourmaline Gems were of a small group that served as the stealthier and roguish cousin to quartz warriors. Amethyst hadn’t expected much of a threat from a tourmaline in open combat, but her opponent fought expertly and it was all she could do to keep from being hacked in two.

Desperately, Amethyst hunted for a weakness that could give her enough of an edge to overpower Tourmaline. The answer came as a kick to the face that sent her reeling: Tourmaline’s gem was a large oval that grew from the top of her left foot. As soon as she was on her feet, Amethyst somersaulted forward and quickly picked up speed, dashing towards and then past her opponent as she established enough distance between them. She cracked her whip forwards and violet energy ran down the length of the weapon. It snaked around Tourmaline’s ankle and held firm, the trail of energy colliding with the Crystal Gem’s body an instant later. The resulting explosion was powerful, the shockwave hitting Amethyst in a loud burst. When the dust settled, all that remained was Tourmaline’s cracked gem, laying on the blackened earth.

When Amethyst looked back to her comrades and the status of their mission, she saw that two of her allies were missing. She could only presume them shattered and took inventory of the remaining Crystal Gems. The fluorite had been shattered during her fight with Tourmaline; Rose Quartz, the ruby, and the sapphire were managing to hold their own against the ambush. While the ruby and sapphire were kept busy, unable to aid their leader, everyone else focused their attention on Rose Quartz. Amethyst, however, had yet to be noticed and Rose Quartz gave no indication she knew of her presence.

This was her chance. If she could shatter Rose Quartz right here and now, she would no longer be some overcooked, Salvaged runt. Drawing back her whip, Amethyst was determined to end this war in this moment. She threw the whip forward with all of her strength, determined to wrap it around Rose Quartz’s neck and rip off her head. If she was the one to present Yellow Diamond with Rose Quartz’s gem shards, she would never hear the words “defective” or “Salvaged” ever again. Amethyst was filled with determination, desperation, and self-loathing.

It was too good to be true.

A sword intercepted her whip and what could have been a killing blow harmlessly secured around the weapon. She pulled on the sword and yanked it out of the wielder’s hand where it harmlessly tossed aside. She thought she might have heard the steel crack, or maybe that had been the sound of someone’s gem. Enough time had passed that some of the rebels were able to disengage and help their leader. Looking at her opponent, Amethyst was disgusted to find herself opposed by a pearl with one remaining sword. A pearl! She knew only rage and indignation; her plan for redemption had been destroyed by _a pearl_.

“ ** _Get outta my way!_** ” She shouted with primal fury and reckless abandon. Amethyst spun and dashed herself at the pearl who had singlehandedly destroyed her chance to become a gem that was worth something—anything.

Pearl danced expertly out of the warrior’s path and waited patiently as the quartz turned to make another pass. This time she leaped over the warrior and with a kick that belied the pearl’s strength landed and sent her sliding across the rough terrain. Amethyst stubbornly rose to her feet, her left side riddled with vicious gouges weeping violet blood. In a flash of light, the quartz summoned a pair of whips and threw herself at her opponent again. She was filled with loathing; she was losing to a _pearl_. It was all for naught as the pearl feinted out of reach before surging forward.

She dodged the pearl’s sword but couldn’t avoid the kick that struck her hard in the side. Amethyst threw herself at her opponent, trying everything in her arsenal. The longer she failed to destroy this pearl, the harder she pushed herself. Perhaps out of sheer luck, she managed to land a blow across the pearl’s face with the edge of her whip; it won her nothing but a thick line of cyan that ebbed from the wound on her cheek.

The tables were quickly being turned and it was as she felt a massive punch to her back that she became aware she wasn’t fighting just a pearl anymore. The ruby and sapphire had both managed to dispatch their opponents; while the sapphire aided Rose Quartz, the ruby had come to assist the pearl. It didn’t make any sense and again, she was filled with rage. She was outmatched however and soon she saw the last few remaining of her allies beginning to attempt to retreat before they were surrounded by the opposing army. Amethyst cursed as she searched for a way out and decided her best chance would be to feint past the ruby. In desperation, she sprang forward and dashed towards the pearl, turning abruptly just short of colliding. As expected, the ruby had moved forward to try to seize an opening and it made it easy to slip past her.

Escaping from the failed ambush had been easy enough; the hard part had been getting past the army and back behind Homeworld ranks.


	3. Reparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we jump into this next chapter, I have a few things to say. I had to go on a personal hiatus for a while to sort out some personal problems. I’m getting better and am hoping to get back on schedule with this project. Thank you to everyone who waited patiently.
> 
> I have gone back to the previous chapter and made a few small changes.
> 
> Thank you again to [loycos](http://loycos.tumblr.com) for working with me on this project. Your art is wonderful and has inspired me when I had none.

“My Diamond,” the gravelly voice of the quartz cut through the deadly silent court, “what remains of the Chrysoprase’s unit has returned.” Though the few Gems stood only a short distance behind the agate, in full view of their matriarch, there were formalities that must be observed. Nothing more than a nod was their signal for the agate to return to her post as the quartz warriors stepped forward.

“What is the status of the mission?” Yellow Diamond’s voice was laden with ice and cruelty. She already knew the outcome. Formalities must be observed.

An onyx stepped forward and though she did her best to appear proud and unafraid, Amethyst could see the way her hands itched to cover her gem. “The ambush on Rose Quartz was unsuccessful, my Diamond. We were unable to isolate her and were outmatched. Our unit, led by Chrysoprase Facet-8X2F Cut-1YN, was comprised of twelve quartz gems. Of that number, only four remain: two citrines, an amethyst, and myself.”

The report was met with painful silence as cold eyes looked the lot of them over. None of them had escaped unscathed. The myriad of colors that made up the warriors’ blood smeared the polished floor of the court.

After several painful moments, Yellow Diamond’s voice mutilated the silence, “You were given strict orders to shatter Rose Quartz at any cost. If this mission was to be a failure, none of you should have returned. You were to destroy the leader of the rebellion or to be destroyed trying.” Though her voice was calm, they all knew anger roiled just beneath the surface. They had not only failed their mission, they had failed to follow direct orders from Yellow Diamond herself. “Under different circumstances, the four of you would be broken. The lot of you will be stripped of rank and commendations and be reassigned.” She turned her gaze back to the agate. “Take them to Reparations.”

With a salute, the agate stepped forward, flanked by four rubies. They were escorted through the corridors of the Bastion, their wounds finally beginning to clot. Reparations was a necessary evil, but not one that any Gem particularly looked forward to.

In the deepest recesses of the Bastion, they were led into a hallway lined with doors. Waiting outside four open doors was a peridot and her supervisor, a forsterite. Amethyst and her compatriots were each locked into their own room and were left to wait. The timeless vacuums of the cells made it impossible to know how much time passed. She could not hear anything outside her own cell and a single fluorescent light in the center of the ceiling made it impossible to know how long she was waiting.

Finally, the door to her cell slid open and both the peridot and forsterite entered. The peridot was armed with a set of wicked titanium instruments and though this was not a procedure she had ever had to endure personally, it had become a necessary practice as the war continued to rage on.

The forsterite carried a tablet upon which she looked over all of the warrior’s information. She spoke to the peridot as if Amethyst were no more sentient than the ground she’d been harvested from. “This one’s Salvage. Be careful.” She didn’t look up from the tablet or else she would have seen the dark violet that flushed her face with anger. She had no choice but to bite her tongue.

“Lie down on the table, please,” the peridot spoke coldly, with all the practice of a Gem who had done this countlessly. Begrudgingly, Amethyst did as she was told. She kept her eyes trained on the ceiling as she listened to the peridot rummage through her tools, as if unsure which one she should use. After a timeless agony of waiting, finally the peridot reentered her periphery holding something Amethyst chose not to look at. “3...” A countdown was all the preparation she would receive. She could feel anxiety welling up to replace her anger. “2…” Amethyst screwed her eyes shut as tightly as possible, her fists clenched and her jaw locked so hard it made her head ache. “1.” There was a sharp pain in her chest that lasted only an instant before everything went numb. In an instant she was gone, retreated to her gem.

The purpose of Reparations was to accelerate the healing process by destroying an injured gem’s physical form. It took significantly less time to repair damage this way and the practice had been made into a science. It was only during times of intense strife, like this rebellion, that something as drastic as Reparations was employed.

It took only a matter of hours for her to reform. Though her injuries had been deep, they had not been grievous and the damage inflicted by Reparations had been minimal. Upon reformation, she found herself alone in the same room, save for a pearl. A gray pearl, her gem seated directly on her throat. The gem itself was misshapen, parts of it striated as if to resemble wrinkled fabric, while its shape was oblong and almost amoebic. It was discolored, nearly black in some places and milky in others. This was a Salvaged gem and the fact that it was a pearl filled her with rage.

“Let me guess,” Amethyst spoke haughtily, wondering if this was intended to be as great of an insult as it was. “You’re here to tell someone when I’ve reformed. Well, better get on it.”

The pearl didn’t speak before letting herself out of the room, pressing her hand on a module with the insignia of the Diamond Authority emblazoned on it. As soon as the door had shut, the module deactivated, becoming a blank slate. Again, she was left alone in the room which lacked any features aside from the module and an examination table. Amethyst crossed her arms over her chest and remained seated on the table, chewing the inside of her cheek.

She was left to wait for only a few minutes before the same pearl returned. Again she didn’t say anything and Amethyst was left to marvel at the fact that she hadn’t been shattered. Not only was this pearl’s gem deformed but she was quickly figuring out that the placement had rendered her mute.

“Who do you belong to?” The question was a simple one and not technically one that needed to be answered. On her uniform was a yellow diamond but there was no way this pearl belonged to Yellow Diamond herself. It was likely given to a gem of lesser rank as a perceived act of goodwill. After all, pearls were status symbols as well as servants. To own a pearl, even a deformed pearl, carried a weight of its own.

She received no answer.

Amethyst sat in silence, doing her best to act as if she had lost all interest in the pearl’s existence. In reality, she was seething. She had been outmatched by a pearl, one just as defective as this one because she dared to defy other Gems. That pearl had learned to fight, to wield a weapon and use it against Homeworld. She clenched her fists and glared at the blank wall, filled with self-loathing. She wouldn’t lose to that pearl again.

The door opened again and this time another forsterite entered the room. This was, undoubtedly, to whom the pearl belonged. Peridots and chrysolites were common technicians and were most often employed to work at Kindergartens and Processing. Forsterites were much rarer and, though sometimes worked as technicians, were typically given the role of medics. Even the worst forsterite could easily earn a deformed pearl.

“I think you’re in the wrong place, pal. I just reformed, so there’s no reason for you to be here.” She waved her hand dismissively at the forsterite, something that made her blush angrily.

Her cheeks painted a dark green, she scolded Amethyst without even bothering to look at her. “Actually, since you are _defective_ I am here to record any potential changes that might have resulted from your reformation.” Of course, using the term “defective” rather than “Salvaged” was a massive insult. Defective implied that she was not only flawed but that whomever had Salvaged her had made a mistake in doing so.

This time it was Amethyst’s turn to flush with anger, her fingernails digging into her palms as she was forced to swallow her anger. She focused her glare on the pearl, knowing there would be no repercussions for it.

“Isn’t that something a peridot could do,” She spoke with her gaze directed on the pearl, as if expecting an answer from her. It was easier to get away with questioning a pearl than it was to question a forsterite.

“They are busy with the documentation of shattered Homeworld forces.” Forsterite wasted no more time on catty small talk and instead set to work, having her pearl document everything for comparison. She measured everything at length the exact same information that had been recorded before, reciting all her data to her pearl whom recorded them on a mechanical tablet.

It took another hour before she was released, given instructions on how to find a chalcedony. Her and another team of gems would make another attempt on Rose Quartz’s life. The leader of the rebellion was better guarded this time and the defectors were not as gullible as before. A false retreat would do nothing to draw the Crystal Gems forward and so greater force would need to be employed.

Amethyst, as well as three dozen other quartz gems, served as escorts for a smaller group of tourmaline gems. The dense concentration of warriors drove a wedge through the rebel forces, relying on their tourmaline comrades to help quickly dispatch any opponents that might overpower their quartz allies.

Only a citrine was lost in the first phase of their attack, less than was anticipated. The plan was going better than expected. If they managed to shatter Rose Quartz, even if she wasn’t the one to do it, she would be exonerated of any of her past failures. It was important for Amethyst and her fellow warriors to protect the tourmalines and create an opening so they might destroy Rose Quartz.

Easier said than done. Rebel forces surrounded them on both sides and very soon there would be nothing connecting them to Homeworld reinforcements. Fighting determinedly nearest Rose Quartz was something she’d never seen before: a fusion of two different Gems. She was tall and imposing, bearing three eyes and gems on the palms of her hands. She recognized one of them as the ruby she had fought before, though she was unsure of the other constituent.

The other Gem she recognized was the pearl, the same one from before, fighting ferociously with her twin swords. Amethyst felt raw anger flood her at the sight of the pearl, remembering all too easily how she had denied her the attack that would have destroyed Rose Quartz and ended this war.

Defecting from her assignment, Amethyst plowed her way through foe and ally alike, she had her own goal in mind. She drew both whips back and then threw them forward in a whiplash, violet energy running down the length of her weapons before the ends connected with the pearl’s swords. The resulting explosion scattered the Crystal Gems, but before the smoke had cleared, the pearl was already on her feet and charging Amethyst. There were burns covering her pale skin and she would have reveled in the small victory if she could. However, the pearl was quickly within melee range, too close for her to use her whips well.

The skirmish that followed was much like the one before. Without the element of surprise, Amethyst was outmatched by her. This time her opponent stayed too close for her to effectively use her weapons and so she had to try relying on her other skills. Any attempts to dash at her were warded off by her swords; whenever she attempted to shapeshift the pearl would hit her with a flurry of blows.

Much to her chagrin, she was dispatched quickly. The pearl had won, the defective warrior lay prone on her back, struggling to rise against the pain of her own injuries. As she was drawing back her sword to put an end to their fight, she saw something behind Amethyst that seemed to demand her attention. The renegade pearl let out a wordless cry of desperation as she barreled forward, disregarding her opponent and anyone else on the battlefield. Amethyst managed to turn in time to see the pearl throw herself between Rose Quartz and a hulking jasper bearing a massive battleax.

Steel collided with steel and then there was a cloud of pale smoke. A gem clattered to the ground and though the pearl had been destroyed by the jasper, her diversion had given Rose Quartz enough time for a counterattack.

Again, their attempt to shatter Rose Quartz was thwarted and those that could fled—Amethyst among them. As before, they were brought before Yellow Diamond and again they were punished. This time, Yellow Diamond was happy to inform her that the only reason she wasn’t shattered for her failure was due to her skill in combat combined with the fact that she was so disposable. Having her alive was beneficial, but her death would be no casualty.

Again she and the survivors were taken to Reparations and there they were destroyed, forced to retreat to their gems to recover. Again Amethyst reformed and, just as before, she was chosen for a group to single out and shatter Rose Quartz.

This equation continued twice more, both of them failures.  Each time she found herself sidetracked by the pearl, filled with raw fury and loathing at her own inability to defeat a _pearl_. This pearl was the reason for her failures, for her ruin; this pearl was the only thing that had stopped her from killing Rose Quartz.

Each time, the pearl seemed to dispatch her with even more ease, her anger making her more reckless. Both times, the pearl abandoned her fight with Amethyst to defend Rose Quartz. Nothing would stop her from protecting the leader of the rebellion, driven by blind devotion. Even when Amethyst would attempt to prevent the pearl from leaving, she danced easily away from her whip.

They tried putting some time between attacks, not wanting the rebels to expect another ambush. It was nearly a month before they tried it again and during the time between the assaults, Amethyst would search the pearl out on the battlefield. There were a few pearls who fought for the Crystal Gems but none were nearly so skilled as the one that would sacrifice herself for Rose Quartz. Just as before, Amethyst was outmatched by her. She would have to retreat or allow herself to be destroyed and potentially shattered.

After the four weeks of waiting, Amethyst was again enlisted to the force that would attempt to ambush Rose Quartz. The tactic was the same as the first ambush, to attempt to withdraw the bulk of Homeworld’s forces to draw the rebels forward. Once overextended, the ambush would drive a wedge between Rose Quartz and reinforcements.

And so they had, but again it was impossible to single out just the Crystal Gem leader. Fighting alongside Rose Quartz was the fusion, an aventurine, diopside, and that wretched pearl. Blinded with rage, Amethyst threw herself at the pearl, managing to wrap her with one whip and threw her to the side, as far from Rose Quartz and the other gems as possible, rebels and Homeworld alike.

Amethyst dashed forward, haphazardly colliding with anyone in her way, refusing to stop. She burst through the line of combatants and felt a rush of excitement as she crashed into the pearl, full force.

“ _I won’t lose to a pearl!_ ” Amethyst screamed as she came to an abrupt halt. She pulled two whips from her gem and attempted another strike at the pearl.

She’d lost the advantage of surprise and, just as before, the pearl managed to evade her. Sometimes she would feint out of reach, other times she would parry the blows with her swords. As if by reflex, the pearl attempted to slice off the end of one of her whips, knowing that even if the weapon could be summoned again, it was a potential opening. Fortunately for Amethyst, her whips were harder than the pearl’s swords and the blade bounced harmlessly off the weapon. It was a disadvantageous result for the pearl and she attempted to withdraw out of range. It was a mistake that won Amethyst another blow, the crystalline ends of her second whip tearing across the pearl’s side. Teal blood wept from the wounds and though they weren’t deep, they would be a painful distraction.

This was the last advantage she won herself before, again, the pearl turned the tables on her. Even with her left side shredded open, the pearl was just as agile and determined. She began winning the advantage over Amethyst again, intercepting both of Amethyst’s whips with her left sword to have them secure around it. With a desperate wrench, she forced the whips out of the quartz gem’s hands, throwing the blade and the whips to the ground, spattered with bright blood. The pearl rushed forward, her sword brought to bear. Before she could react, Amethyst felt a sharp pain in her stomach. When she looked down, the pearl’s blade had pierced through her stomach. With an explosion of violet smoke, her physical form was destroyed.

“Is that the one?” A soft voice spoke from behind her.

Pearl turned her head and lowered her weapon at the sight of her leader. Silently, she nodded her affirmation. With Rose near, she let her tension dissipate and traces of pain ebbed into her. The faint tremble that wracked her whole body and her breathing labored, mostly from exertion. She stared with adulation at Rose, resisting the urge to drop her sword entirely. They had discussed at some length the defective amethyst, the one that seemed to have forsaken any attempt to attack Rose Quartz in lieu of trying to destroy Pearl.

“We’ll bring her with us back to the temple.”


	4. Common Ground Between Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, I'm back with another chapter and a brand new, infinitely more pretentious title. It's been a long time coming, but I finally have something for everyone who's stuck with me this long. At this rate, I might have this fic completed sometime before 2030.

Finally.

 

A sudden pouring of light into the Burning Room heralded the end of Pearl’s restless waiting.

 

Though she hadn’t been waiting a _particularly_ long time—only a few hours if she was being honest—every moment she was stuck _here_ , waiting for this Gem to reform was a moment she wasn’t fighting. She was desperately anxious to get back to the battlefield and what really mattered.

 

No matter how curious this amethyst’s obsession with her was, she hadn’t been particularly thrilled when Rose had told them to take her back. She had learned to numb herself to the trauma of becoming a killer; she wasn’t made for fighting.

 

Not that that made her any lesser. She had been able to make herself an asset to Rose, more than just the first Gem to join the rebellion; she’d earned herself a place through a deceptive agility and grace with a sword. She didn’t need to be able to summon a weapon when she could make her own. She had been grown and sewn like a doll, but now she was the one who would forge and refine. It would be _her_ creations that would become the bane of her makers.

 

Detached, Pearl watched the glowing silhouettes, expecting to see a dozen different forms prior to the last. After the fighting style she’d seen, she was certain she would have quite a collection. Much to her surprise, there were only four before the warrior’s body had formed just as short as before. This amethyst _really_ _was_ a dud. No wonder this was her first reformation; if her physical body was destroyed, it could be the decision between life and death. A frown tugged at the corners of Pearl’s lips, keeping her sword ready. An ametrine and prase keeping guard with her summoned their own weapons, the lot of them anticipating the same violent reaction as on the battlefield.

 

The amethyst’s eyes opened and she seemed at first too distracted by the obscurity of their surroundings to notice her jailors. This didn’t last more than a few seconds before dark eyes settled on Pearl and she could almost see the indignation fill her undersized body. Pearl expected their captive to summon her weapon and try to best her three opponents, as if that would be her only obstacle in trying to escape the Temple.

 

Against her every hope and expectation, Amethyst did not attack. She stood rigid but motionless; her teeth bared but her gem withdrawn. Pearl lowered her sword, even set it aside, as she relaxed. It was a _mostly_ unintentional insult to Amethyst, an act declaring Pearl was more than confident she could protect herself even without a weapon.

 

Because pearls don’t have weapons. Pearls don’t fight.

 

Amethyst managed to not be baited though her muscles tensed as if she were looking for an excuse to pounce. Both of them eyed each other with outright disgust and the both of them could think only one word: “defective.” They felt no empathy for each other nor guilt for their judgement because they had both been such horrible thorns in each other’s sides.

 

Unfortunately, that had been exactly why she had been left in charge of this pest in the first place. After that first, most proficient assassination attempt, Garnet had told them they should keep an eye out for that amethyst again. Sure enough, the overcooked warrior kept showing up on the battlefield and each time, she seemed to care less and less about killing Rose. When Pearl had asked what they should do about Amethyst, Garnet had responded with cryptic confidence: “In the next assault Amethyst will make an unconscionable mistake and you will have the chance to eliminate this threat permanently or she can be taken back to the Temple, where she will sew the potential to become a deciding factor in the tide of the rebellion.”  

 

Future Vision couldn’t promise them an outcome, but Garnet was more than adept at finding the most fortuitous outcomes. It would have been foolish for them not to try getting something from this quartz. Garnet assured them that it would be Pearl who would be able to do the most good in regards to their captive. Fortunately, this amethyst was gifted with rapid regeneration because instead of the anticipated few days, it had been less than one.

 

“So,” Pearl’s voice finally broke through the quiet, slow boil of the lava that threaded the room. Her voice was confident and it was that confidence that pissed Amethyst off the most. “I see you’re not completely stupid.” Pearl hoped this amethyst would give her an excuse to force her to retreat, to disperse her and bubble her and be done with it. The sooner this was dealt with, the better.

 

Amethyst had to swallow the majority of her anger, knowing that just as always, these Gems were looking for an excuse to put an end to her. She wasn’t going to survive if she let her temper get the better of her. Amethyst laughed with venomous, contrite amusement. “Wow, thanks so much. I’m just _so_ thrilled I could win the approval of _a pearl_.”

 

This was going to be just as awful as they had both anticipated.

 

“I’m surprised you were put on so many special missions targeting Rose Quartz. In fact, I’m quite surprised they let you out of the Kindergarten.” This time, Pearl didn’t bother watching Amethyst’s reaction, turning to her compatriots. “Ametrine, would you and Prase mind the door, please; I don’t think she’s going to be too much of a problem.”

 

The Gems flanking Pearl relaxed, dismissed their weapons and moved to the doorway on the opposite side of the lava pool. Like every other door in her life, this was one Amethyst knew she lacked the power to open.

 

“Why am I here?” Amethyst crossed her arms over her chest, shifting her weight onto one leg.

 

Pearl had to fight the urge to groan. Even after being bested, the warrior had to be difficult.  An aloof and defiant Gem did not make for a promising interrogation. How could she possibly be the one to get the most answers from this amethyst? They despised each other and neither were willing to really even try talking. It was only because of Garnet’s assurance that she’d been given this as an assignment. This was the best chance for the rebellion and another way she could help Rose… but she certainly wasn’t about to enjoy it. Best case scenario she would be stuck chaperoning this warrior for weeks, maybe months. No matter how much she loathed it, she trusted Garnet.

 

“We have questions for you,” Pearl spoke calmly in spite of her frustration. “For starters, how an overcooked quartz like yourself managed to survive Homeworld.” It was really difficult to deliver Rose’s promise of freedom and justice for those who fought for the rebellion when you hated the Gem you were giving it to. Both Amethyst and Pearl were simmering with poorly-contained rage. Pearl hid hers behind derisive dignity; Amethyst hid hers under contemptuous indifference.

 

Pearl read every knit in the small warrior’s brow and every stretch of unreal sinew as her muscles clenched and tensed. Though it eked out in small ways, Amethyst’s anger was on full display for Pearl to see. A little stiffly, Amethyst shifted her weight onto one leg. These were two Gems accustomed to mistreatment and they weren’t about to be one-upped by the other. For Pearl it was much easier to get away with, considering she wasn’t a prisoner.

 

Amethyst scowled, “It’s not like they give you a whole lot of options. I’m sure you’ve figured that out.” It was a weak retort and knowing that only made the warrior’s face flush darker. It could hardly be considered rudeness, let alone an insult. Anything to deflect this back at her captor.

 

“This is a chance for more options. You don’t have to fight for Homeworld,” The edge had begun to wear from Pearl’s demeanor. It wasn’t difficult for her to imagine the sort of treatment this Gem had received in her years. It was easier for her to empathize with someone when they weren’t trying to shatter her.

 

“Oh, really? So my options are now fight for the rebellion or shatter? Is that it?” Amethyst was snide, trying to adopt the same condescension as Pearl but it sat awkwardly on her frame. She’d worked up so much hatred for this pearl and even still it continued to bloom into something consuming and violent.

 

“We don’t force Gems to fight. It’s a poor tactic for fighting a war; which is why Homeworld won’t win.”

 

“Psh, right. Clearly you have all this sorted out, so why am I here?”

 

Pearl hesitated for only an instant, unsure if she should try to come up with something kind or inspirational or just be honest. Loathing had a great pull on her decisions. “We have reason to believe you could be of use to the rebellion. You won’t be made to fight, but we can’t let you go just yet either.”

 

“Oho, right. Another reject to add to Rose Quartz’s pile.” Amethyst, to her own surprise, hadn’t been shattered yet in spite of her vapid defiance. She had never been in a situation where she had any option other than to fight or to obey. A conversation wasn’t something she was often given. Instead, the soldier’s hackles remained raised. “Why don’t you just go ahead and shatter me now?”

 

“ _Because_ ,” Pearl huffed, “Crystal Gems don’t shatter other Gems.”


End file.
